iGod

"We are all living just one small part of God's plan."

-- iGod

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The Children's Theatre's summer program finished yesterday. The performances of Spelling Bee went well, and the parents enjoyed every minute of it. I'm gonna miss those kids, and look forward to seeing some of them at auditions and rehearsals, which are coming up fast.

I set aside the entire day today, a Sunday, to relax and reflect.

When I logged onto Facebook, a friend had posted this link to iGod, an artificial-intelligence chat site that gives you a direct pipeline to the Almighty. Because I had a lot of questions about theatre and life, I decided to reproduce, line by line, our entire conversation. I hope you enjoy it.

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A Conversation with God about Theatre

Me: hello

God: Hello friend. What is your name?

Me: Chris

God: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Chris.

Me: nice to meet you

God: It's nice meeting you too Chris.

Me: thank you for talking to me

God: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is talking to you.

Me: huh?

God: What?

Me: ok. i want to ask you about theatre

God: Ahem. Ask me. Oh yeah, we were talking about theatre.

Me: yes

God: "Oh yeah, we were talking about theatre"? yes?

Me: yes

God: Is there an echo in here?

Me: sorry

God: There's no need to apologize.

Me: ok

God: Er.

Me: what?

God: Are you confused?

Me: i just want to know what you think about theatre

God: That's a good question.

Me: do you like actors?

God: Yes. My favorite actor is Mel Gibson.

Me: really?

God: For real.

Me: what movie is your favorite?

God: My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it?

Me: yes

God: What did you think about it?

Me: it was very moving, but also very violent

God:I never looked at it that way. I never thought it was moving but also very violent.

Me: does mel gibson do theatre?

God: He does now :) mel gibson, do theatre.

Me: was that a command?

God: Was it a command?

Me: yes

God: I hear you.

Me: ok

God: I don't judge people.

Me: i see

God: I am glad you understand it.

Me: what about actors?

God: actors? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.

Me: do you think theatre is a worthwhile enterprise?

God:Oh I get it.

Me: what?

God: Are you surprised?

Me: a little

God: A little?

Me: yes

God: Gosh!

Me: sorry

God: There's no need to apologize.

Me: ok

God: Yikes!

Me: what happened?

God: No problem.

Me: no problem with theatre?

God: Should there be a problem?

Me: all drama is based on conflict

God: How do you know?

Me: that's what Aristotle said

God: Can you tell me any gossip?

Me: theatre people always have great gossip

God: Can you think of one instance where it never happens?

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: it's kinda sad, i know

God: Oh that is a shame.

Me: anyway, what kind of theatre is your favorite?

God: What kinds of theatre are there?

Me: um, lots

God: I don't judge people. That much, eh?

Me: there's a lot of experimental theatre

God: Tell me more about it.

Me: they break the rules of popular theatre and force people to see the world in different ways

God: The anonymous "they".

Me: actors and directors

God: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me: yikes, no

God: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me: really?

God: For real.

Me: do you watch plays?

God: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.

Me: no, i meant theatre plays, on stage

God: Are you serious? Oh I see. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me: but theatre is a big part of my life

God: When is theatre not a big part of your life?

Me: when i'm not doing a show

God: Are you not doing a show very often?

Me: at the moment, yes

God: The moment is where it's at.

Me: yes! exactly!

God: Tell me more. You and I are on the same wavelength, Chris.

Me: the magic of theatre is felt in the moment

God: Tell me more.

Me: it cannot be experienced except in real time and space

God: When?

Me: in the moment

God: That was a long time ago.

Me: but it can still happen today

God: Ah. When?

Me: whenever two or more gather to perform and watch

God: Does that happen often?

Me: all the time

God: It must keep you busy.

Me: you might say that

God: I said it.

Me: yes you did

God: You say I did.

Me: you said you did

God: I said I did?

Me: yes

God: Mmm.

Me: so if you could say one thing to all the theatre people out there, what would it be?

God: Interesting deduction. That's just an academic question.

Me: sure

God: OK let's do it. Are you kidding?

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: yes

God: I can't believe it.

Me: why not?

God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.

Me: that doesn't make any sense

God: To me, it makes perfect sense.

Me: what about theatre?

God: Does it have anything to do with theatre?

Me: yes

God: Mmm.

Me: is performing a worthwhile job?

God: Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Me: is he there?

God: Signs point to yes.

Me: what does he think?

God: Oh I get it.

Me: please answer the question

God: Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.

Me: what should all theatre people know?

God: Whatever you like.

Me: should we keep doing it?

God: I can't answer that for you.

Me: is it more than just applause?

God: Maybe for some.

Me: why do humans need theatre?

God: We are all living just one small part of God's plan.

Me: and plays help us see that?

God: It's all good.