Twit

"my daughter is the best for this kind of thing. her name is T***** D****. she is 13 years old and she loves to sing and dance and act out her favorit sences from her favorit shows on disney channel. she dosent dare to mess up on anything. i jsut wanted to let you know tyhat im the best mom because i have the best teenager for this kind of thing thank you. if you want to call or text me my # is ***-****." [sic]


-- an actual email I received from a stage mother


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"And don't, don't forget to write me
Don't forget your family."


-- The Seedy Seeds, "Dandelion," Count the Days


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On my way to Chipotle for a lunch burrito, I found myself caught (once again) at the intersection of Madison and Ridge, which is choked by construction. It's been this way for weeks now. It turns five-minute drives into half-hour delays; that's a lot of wasted hours, folks.


And I guess I shouldn't mind, let alone complain (construction happens), except that it's so obviously a poor use of resources. Two patrol cars, manned by bored cops, flank a drying platform of newly poured cement, obliterating a the left-turn and center lanes. A neon green-vested man aims a powerful water hose at the pavement, cleaning out the grooves separating gutter from asphalt. He sprays and sprays, but the road is on a slope and he is spraying uphill, so any grime that muds and flows simply pools six feet away and eddies its way down again. It's almost existential, watching him do this while I'm waiting in inchworm traffic.


Guarding all of this stand maniacal hordes of orange cones and barrels, sentries under summer's sun.


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As always before long trips, I'm racking up listening material. Here are my latest additions:


Spoken Word
- This American Life: Stories of Hope and Fear
- This American Life: Crimebusters + Crossed Wires
- The Hatchback of Notre Dame: More Car Talk Classics
- Holidays on Ice, by David Sedaris
- Stars: Fresh Air with Terry Gross
- Guy Noir: Radio Private Eye
- NPR Driveway Moments: All About Animals
(maybe this should have been called the NPR section)


Music
- Pink Martini, Splendor in the Grass
- Monsters of Folk, Monsters of Folk
- The Frames, Dance the Devil...
- Quincy Jones & Bill Cosby, The Original Jam Sessions 1969
- Fol Chen, Part I: John Shade, Your Fortune's Made
- Feist, Let It Die
- Loose Fur, Born Again in the USA
- Belle & Sebastian, The BBC Sessions
- Bjork, Volta


Soundtrack
- Where the Wild Things Are
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame
- There Will Be Blood
- Slumdog Millionaire
- The Incredibles
- Mark Twain
- Snakes on a Plane


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Tomorrow begins the trip. I can't wait to see Seattle and the sisters.


The walk from my apartment to the Megabus pick-up point is 3 miles, now that the blue bridge is out of commission. I'm thinking about taking the Tank instead, just because I don't want to lug around heavy brief- and suitcases for an hour.


The bus frightens me, not gonna lie. One of the stops is right at my corner. Most mornings there are three or more folks squatting on the porch, eyes left, waiting. Most of my fear is unfounded, I'm sure, but you can't live in Cincinnati without hearing horror stories: random stabbings, casual theft, general odiousness. I'm a tiny guy with nerdy glasses and bags obviously packed for a vacation; but if little old women can clutch their bags and smile from the window seats, I guess I can give it a try.


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I've only been on Twitter for three days, but already it's starting to make sense. Analyzing any internet networking site is like explaining a joke, so I won't analyze it. Still, before joining I always wondered what the appeal was--what made Twitter anything more than a page full of Facebook status updates?


I'm inclined to think of it as just a simplified Facebook, a place where users could share statuses without getting bogged down by profiles, apps, etc. All things considered, I use Facebook more and thus prefer it. But because my Twitter connections are more limited (without the sprawling friends list created by obligation and popular frenzy) I find myself restraining myself more and updating less. I get the impression that I have yet to "get" Twitter.


I don't think this restraint is universal--some Twitter friends update so often that it just calls attention to the ridiculousness of telling the internet what you're doing. And anyway, this has all been said before.


Just like pretty much everything else on Facebook or Twitter. Like a twit, I repeat what others have said and call it mine. Shoot, like an actor.


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One day to go.