Possum

"A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not to look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?

I dont know.

Believe that."

-- Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy

--

My girlfriend is making us lasagna tonight. She is using her mother's recipe for "Microwaved Lasagna," which means that the actual baking takes place in the microwave. But before you nuke it, you have to prepare everything in various pots and pans on a stove.

Seems misleading.

--

On Friday, my folks come for a visit. The first time I've seen them in months. Since January, when I went home on an actor's furlough. I'll see my dog for the first time in months, too.

I can't wait to feel the little weights of his limbs as he greets me, paws padding against my femur, so frenzied because he can't figure out a way to climb up fast enough.

One of our first escapades--the family and me, not the dog and me--will be to Graeter's, the Cincinnati ice-cream chain. Their phosphates are the best. The rest of the weekend is up for grabs, with the Reds, the zoo, the metro amusement park, an art museum, a gigantic food store, and the local farmers' market, as the most likely grabbers. They want to do things that can only be done in Cincinnati.

I want to tell them, Well, then--just be in Cincinnati.

--

The school we played this morning is in a ritzy part of the 'burbs, Montgomery, OH, site of the famous barbecue restaurant, Montgomery Inn. Last time I was there, it was Valentine's Day, and I paid $100 for two people. It's that kind of neighborhood.

In the lobby of the elementary school is a sculpture of a large pig with tiny wings on its back. Similar to this bronze one. It's because Cincinnati originally was to be called Porkopolis, on account of the pig trade, which was big here.

It was named after a Roman general who was promoted to Emporer during a time of war and then gave up his power. For this act, he would later be mentioned in Western Heritage courses at Hillsdale College in Hillsdale, MI.

--

I have started to branch out in my musical extractions from libraries, having ripped most of what I want. Now my curiosity drives my expansion, as violence in the Wild West (indulge me, I'm reading McCarthy again).

Recent musical finds:

- "How it Ends" by DeVotchKa (was also in Little Miss Sunshine)
- Miles: Cool and Collected, a collection of Miles Davis essentials
- Ollabelle, an Appalachian group formed in New York, with a wondrous album called Riverside Battle Songs
- The Library of Congress' Negro Work Songs and Calls, part of their Archive of Folk Culture project; a collection of old recordings of slave songs and genuine river calls, including a track called "Possum Was an Evil Thing" and another that features riverboatsmen calling "mark twain"

--

Behind blinds, a cat sits on the window sill. I see its slitted silhouette. It reposes, slinks closer to the dusty corner.

From my perspective, blocking it: A bike, ill-used, at its station by the front window; a floor lamp, its frosted ceramic top exulting the ceiling; a red sofa covered in blankets and pillows; the corner of my laptop screen.

Sometimes you have to jump a scape to get to the land.

I can smell lasanga now.